Is it better to have a sibling or to be an only child?

2023-05-28 09:32:00, Kuriozitete CNA

Same family tree, same parents, and usually a small age difference. And of course in half the cases of the same sex. For several years now, science has been concerned with siblings, what makes a difference whether you should have them or not, or between being younger or older children.

And the results are very interesting. First of all, birth order in the family matters little. The hypothesis that pre-borns are more conscientious, and that younger children are more creative, supported by some psychologists, has been conclusively disproved by recent studies.

On the other hand, many researchers have found that having a sibling has great benefits. And this not only for reasons that may be obvious, such as the fact that a sibling is often the most suitable person for example in the case of a transplant.

But because those who have brothers or sisters are destined to experience a longer parental relationship. And such advantages are seen above all when one leaves the family, and when contact becomes a free choice. At this point, if you decide to continue dating each other it may give you a few more years of life.

A study conducted at the University of North Carolina has reached this surprising conclusion. He found that people with strong social relationships live an average of 7.5 years longer than those without these types of relationships. Also, the research also found that children with siblings have much more social interaction than only children.

But why do the former have a longer lifespan? The explanation may be based on the fact that, by taking care of them, we are automatically inclined to take care of ourselves. Conversely, when we feel stressed, depressed or sick, we have someone to lean on.

So when there are at least 2 children in a family, you live not only longer, but also better. "To understand the reason, it is enough to think about the evolution of our species: not being alone, welcoming differences, integrating them and mixing with others. These are the fundamental factors for the adaptation not only of the human race, but also of the single individual, because loneliness often condemns him to have fewer opportunities" - says Alesio Gamba, head of the Operational Unit of Developmental Psychology-ASST Monza.

Meanwhile, having a sibling not only makes us more social, but apparently helps us show more empathy. This is confirmed by research conducted by Brigham Young University in Utah (USA).

After analyzing the relationships between siblings in more than 300 families, researchers noticed that those who already have a good relationship as teenagers turn out to be more altruistic and generous in all other relationships in life.

"The value of having brothers and sisters is about learning to live in a group, to communicate, to share emotions or to worry about others besides yourself. Of course, this is where empathy comes into play" - emphasizes Marina Bertoloti, head of Clinical Psychology in the Pediatric Area of ??the City of Health and Science of Turin.

Ndërkaq marrëdhënia midis 2 ose 3 vëllezërve dhe motrave, është shpesh e ndryshme nga ajo e krijuar në familje më të mëdha. “Prindërit e tetë fëmijëve nuk mund t'i kushtojnë secilit të njëjtën vëmendje që do t’i kushtonin dy fëmijëve. Por kjo nuk është aspak e keqe: e bën marrëdhënien edhe më të rëndësishme dhe me secilin mund të krijohet një lloj lidhjeje tjetër”- shton Gamba.

Ndër të tjera, siç tregohet nga një hulumtim i kryer me 57.000 njerëz në 28 vende të ndryshme, lindja në një familje të madhe e ul rrezikun e divorcit, ndoshta sepse në këto familje fëmijët mësohen të jenë më shumë tolerantë.

Megjithatë, pasi largohen nga bërthama origjinale e familjes, marrëdhënia midis vëllezërve dhe motrave zakonisht kalon nëpër faza zbehjeje gjatë gjithë jetës së tyre (me përjashtim të binjakëve identikë, të cilët kanë një marrëdhënie ekskluzive me njëri-tjetrin), me kulmin e kontakteve që ndodh gjatë periudhave të vështira.

Studimet tregojnë se ka një rritje dramatike në frekuencën e kontakteve midis vëllezërve dhe motrave gjatë divorcit, vdekjes së bashkëshortit/es apo një krize financiare. Një studim suedez i kryer mbi thuajse 8.000 njerëz mbi 80 vjeç tregoi se edhe në mungesë të takimeve të vazhdueshme, përballë një emergjence gati 30 për qind e njerëzve i drejtohen në fillim vëllait apo motrës që është ende gjallë.

The same study revealed that social support is higher especially for those who have sisters. Finally, another advantage that should not be underestimated, having a sibling of the opposite sex to you is an additional resource during adolescence, a period in which he becomes a valuable source of information on the mysteries of the other half.

"Only children find it easier to always justify themselves and in the end they are spoiled by their relatives. On the contrary, having all brothers or sisters always forces us to immerse ourselves in reality, but also to share the things we are afraid to tell our parents" - says Gamba. / Adapted from CNA.al