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22:51 TODAY

Businessman Artur Shehu breaks his silence: I am a long-time land owner in Zvërnec, I don't know the investors at all

Albanian businessman Artur Shehu spoke on the Opinion show...

Discovery of the Sun: it takes us 100 years to become like the EU!

2025-10-16 21:23:00, Opinione Lutfi Dervishi

Dear citizens, today I received the updated convergence report with the EU. So when do we become like the EU!
I have one good news and seven bad news (one for each day of the week, plus a bonus).
The good news? We are not alone. (We have the other 5 countries of the region with us) The bad news? We are 100 years away. And this is not a metaphor. It is a loading bar that does not move, but continues to consume energy. Do you understand? We have been downloading a 1 Megabyte file for 100 years.”
On her screen, Diella reads in a metallic, almost optimistic voice:
Economy: 53 years after the EU. So, in the economy we will become like Europe in 2078!
Governance: 64 years. I do not accept this! For us to reach standards in governance in 2089, 100 years after the fall of the Berlin Wall, is an insult to our governing capacities and to countless reforms!
Digitalization: 9 years. Not bad, said Diella, It falls on Diella's 7th mandate (or my third mandate).

Although emotionless, Diella realized that the server started coughing. And people in the room started looking at the clock and scratching their heads.
So far so good, said Diella, because these are areas where we can put a "task force", "roadmap" and "monitoring dashboard". Here we go. We have been doing "task forces" for 35 years.
Education: Diverging. That is, we are nowhere. (Diella here looks in surprise, like a computer that you just unplugged)
Environment: More than 100 years. (So, Albania will be ready when the Earth has become the second planet of Venus, from the heat.)
Infrastructure: More than 100 years. (So, we will build highways only when cars have started flying?!)
"We have been doing very well", said Diella.
Diverging… is the most beautiful and saddest word I have read today, said Diella. It means: we are neither going forward nor backward, we are spinning around ourselves.

Diella enters AI self-optimization mode (panic mode) and asks herself:
- What can I do personally so that we are not 100 years behind and 50 years ahead?”
Because she is left with no text, Diella closes it with her smile programmed for “crisis”, a smile that looks like a system error:
In 2027 we will close the negotiation chapters, but at this rate, the Education chapter will be opened by the great-grandchildren of biological beings, or as Diella calls it, “pieces of meat”.
In 2030 we enter the EU, but only if the EU enters the Metaverse in advance.
But dear citizens, don't be upset. As Dielli says, governance is difficult for the first 5-6 terms, while life is only the first 100 years!/ CNA