Erich Fromm on love in "The Art of Loving"

2025-01-20 13:49:00, Opinione Albert Vataj

Erich Fromm, a renowned German psychologist and social philosopher, deeply explored the complexities of human relationships and the nature of love in his influential works. One of his most profound insights into love came in his book The Art of Loving (1956), where he argued that love is not simply an emotional reaction to a particular person, but a broader character orientation that shapes one's entire worldview.

He wrote, “Love is not primarily a relationship with a specific person; it is an attitude, an orientation of character that determines a person’s relationship to the world as a whole.”

For Fromm, love was not limited to romantic relationships or personal attachments, but was an intrinsic part of how one engages with the world and human beings. It is an active force, an expression of one's soul, rather than a passive reaction to an external stimulus.

Fromm also criticized the common misconception that love is simply the act of finding the "right" object to love. Many, he suggested, approach love with the idea that it is defined by the specific person they love, believing that the intensity of their emotions toward that individual is a reflection of their capacity for love.

However, Fromm saw this perspective as problematic, equating it with a form of egoism or symbiotic attachment. He argued that such an approach to love, which focuses on an individual rather than a broader, more universal capacity for love, cannot be considered true love.

He said: "If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to the rest of his fellow human beings, his love is not love, but a symbiotic relationship, or an extended egoism."

According to Fromm, true love transcends individual bonds and must be part of the general attitude towards humanity.

In illustrating this point, Fromm used the analogy of painting.

He said: "This attitude can be compared to that of a man who wants to paint, but who instead of learning the art, claims that he only needs to wait for the right object and that he will paint beautifully when he finds it."

Fromm's critique here is sharp and revealing: true love, like any art, requires practice, learning, and active commitment. It is not simply about finding the right person or waiting for the perfect moment; it is a continuous, conscious effort that involves developing one's capacity for care, respect, responsibility, and knowledge.

Through this lens, love becomes an ongoing practice of cultivation rather than an inevitable outcome tied to finding the perfect object of love.

Fromm's philosophy offers a deep and thoughtful reflection on love, encouraging individuals to expand their understanding of it as a force that shapes not only personal relationships, but also their relationships with the world at large./ CNA