The sun, the minister who doesn't exist and SPAK that follows the shadows/ The moon comes into play

2025-09-11 17:44:00, Satire CNA

The sun, the minister who doesn't exist and SPAK that follows the shadows/

In the Albania of wonders, where reality and fantasy mix like in a low-budget film, this also happened: Diella became a minister. No, don't look for her in the civil registry, nor in the traces of the border police – because she is not a physical person. She is virtual, a creature that lives between the "cloud" and the government's speeches in PowerPoint.

If you thought you'd seen it all in Albanian politics, you're wrong. After ministers who hold two positions, MPs who no one sees in the chamber, and judges who retire before they can issue decisions, we now have another innovation: a virtual minister.

We are talking about Diella, a digital creature, who – according to government sources – “took office by decision of the Council of Ministers”. She has no CV, no photo, no criminal record – she is simply “a good idea entered into the system”. In short, a minister who does not exist, but who is paid as if she were really there.

Citizens ask:

– If Diella signs a VKM, who will publish it in the Official Gazette?

– If the Moon makes a decision, who will execute it? Astronauts?

– And the biggest one: who will be held responsible for all of this? Or will we simply be told that "there was a bug in the system"?

Who will prosecute Diella?

SPAK, which is supposed to deal with the most serious corruption, has been left confused and now faces a philosophical dilemma.

– How is a minister prosecuted who has no body, no signature, no seal?

– Will the “summons for questioning” be sent by email or push notification?

– If it doesn't appear, is it listed internationally on… Google Search?

-Should he send the summons by email or WhatsApp?

Is this the first time that Albanian justice will deal with a figure created by "government innovation software"?

But don't worry: the Moon comes into play.

It is said that another prosecutor, also virtual, called the Moon, has requested an investigation of the Sun. Instead of dealing with millions disappearing in tenders, we now have a cosmic duel between the Sun and the Moon – one a minister, the other a prosecutor. An epic battle where the only witnesses are… the Starlink satellites.

So, we have a fake minister being investigated by an even faker prosecutor. This is the first case in history where a criminal case can be processed entirely without humans – only with algorithms.

In this country, where even the scandal has now gone virtual, it seems we are entering a new era of justice and governance... where ministers do not exist, prosecutors emerge from a parallel universe, and SPAK is left to chase ghosts on servers.

Citizens laugh, but also tremble, what if tomorrow the prime minister decides to go "virtual" himself?

*made with AI