Reflection of a failing marriage/Divorce due to lack of trust

2025-04-15 14:15:00, Sociale CNA

In an interview about the divorce situation in the southeast of the country, lawyer Entela Dvorani focuses on the factors that influence the increase in requests for marriage dissolution. She considers it abusive how many men seek divorce after decades of cohabitation, just because they “cannot stand” their wives anymore, often after the children have grown up and there is no longer a “reason” to stay in the marriage . According to her, lack of trust is the basic factor that leads to separation, and this stems from numerous social factors, where the influence of the media dominates.

Reflection of a failing marriage/Divorce due to lack of trust

"It is abusive to think that in this 20-year-old age, it is claimed that a husband who cannot stand his wife should file for divorce, because he has grown children and when he enters the office and asks for a divorce, you are confused, you ask him to re-establish this relationship, so we who should be the lawyers who ask for a divorce because of work, are being told to "Keep the family." Lack of trust is the basic factor, but where does this come from? From all social factors. The first is media dominance, we are very poisoned by the media. A great media arrogance in the conversations that those who are the most well-known public figures have, in the way they use words and if you see a man who has a harsh word, he is harsh everywhere in the family. If the man brings X lek, from those lek he makes dominance in the way he uses words. This makes the relationship in the couple impossible and the lack of patience leads couples to actual divorce," said Dvorani.

A particular case that Dvorani brings up is that of a 75-year-old man who filed for divorce because his wife was "suffocating him in his sleep," a situation that she says was worsened by the post-pandemic situation and isolation.

Reflection of a failing marriage/Divorce due to lack of trust

"The oldest person who has requested a divorce is 75 years old. He filed for divorce because his wife was strangling him in his sleep and this was a situation that occurred post-pandemic. She had her own fears that she needed therapeutic treatment, but it was currently also the time of isolation," says Dvorani.

She emphasizes that the divorce process is a form of violence for both partners. Even when the initiative comes from one spouse, deep psychological frustrations are often hidden behind it. Dvorani emphasizes the need for couples to undergo a phase of psychological treatment before going to court to better understand the problems that have led them to this point.

Reflection of a failing marriage/Divorce due to lack of trust

"The divorce process is a violence for both spouses, perhaps the one who initiates the divorce seems to have no violence, but the psychological violence from that person is great. He is within inexplicable frustrations that when he asks for a divorce from a lawyer, the lawyer, perhaps not being a professional, fails to qualify his situation for divorce. He tends to say "I ask for a divorce", while today for such marriages that have exceeded long-term relationships, a psychologist should be sought where, before a divorce request is opened, the process of psychological treatment should be passed once", - says Dvorani.

Mediation, she says, should be a mandatory step in divorce proceedings. This process helps to formalize the separation peacefully, but couples cannot be expected to reunite. She suggests that courts should not invest time in investigating the marital relationship, but instead require couples to first go through mediation and provide proof of this.

Reflection of a failing marriage/Divorce due to lack of trust

"Mediation offers a solution situation and means that the couple concretizes the divorce. Both come to the actualization of that factual separation that they will carry out as a legal separation. While, we cannot say that it comes to mediation and the couple reunites. This does not happen, but in order to maintain the marriage, perhaps the court should once pass it to the mediation stage where it is said to be provided with a certificate from the mediator that you have passed this solution by agreement so that even effective divorce cases slow down their pace to deal with other issues because the family relationship that is established or the marriage is dissolved is a relationship between the couple. The court should not investigate this case," said Dvorani.

Reflection of a failing marriage/Divorce due to lack of trust

According to the lawyer, marriages entered into incorrectly will be resolved one day, adding that often awareness of the mistake in choosing a partner comes too late. The statistics she mentions show a greater number of men seeking divorce, especially in the Korça area and especially those living abroad, in emigration.

"A marriage that was entered into incorrectly will be resolved one day. The problem is when the couple realizes that they have entered into a wrong marriage. Regarding the number, we can say that men prevail in requesting divorce. Regarding the number of population, Korça has a higher number of divorces. But, those who live abroad in emigration are now requesting more divorces," said Dvorani.

In a society where the pace of life, economic pressure and media influence are significantly changing family relationships, divorce is transforming from an exception into an increasingly common reality./CNA