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Crates of bananas are missing in the port of Durrës. Kiko the monkey is interrogated again

2022-07-17 20:14:00, Opinione Lutfi Dervishi

Crates of bananas are missing in the port of Durrës. Kiko the monkey is

Journalist, Lutfi Dervishi

After the news that several crates of bananas were missing from the banana container in Durrës, the monkey Kiko who became famous because he beat three policemen and a Greek tourist was urgently called to the Prosecutor's Office today as the main suspect in the international cocaine traffic.
- We know everything. We have called you to give you the opportunity to say what you know about international cocaine trafficking.
- What do I have to do with cocaine?
- In the last conversation you told me that you came to Albania because you like bananas and the feeling that bananas give you here is not found in any EU country and not even in the aspiring EU countries.
- I told the truth.
- Have you ever been to the Port of Durres?
- No.
- Reason?
- They told me that the port and the city are controlled by the mafia.
- Right. Can you be more specific?
- No, because I intend to live longer.
- Albania is one of the safest countries in the world.
- I've read it. I tend to believe what I read, but as you know it's been 5 years since I've lived here. I, as you Albanians say, have eyes on my forehead. In fact, I don't have eyes on my forehead, I have eyes like yours on my face, but you swear by the eyes on my forehead...
- Why do you try to cheat? We can grant repentant witness status.
- I do not meet the criteria. I have not committed any crime. What should I regret?
- For example, you may regret why you came to this country? Why were you born? Why do you like bananas? etc. etc.
- Mr. Prosecutor, why don't you ask me specific questions so that I can answer specifically.
- Today in the port of Durrës, several crates are missing from the cargo of bananas that arrived.
- Are you accusing me of stealing them?!
- No, but we have witnesses that today you were seen in the morning with some bananas in your hands. And today you were especially happy! Why so happy in this heat?
- Because the negotiations have been opened...
- What about the bananas in your hands?
- Mr. Prosecutor, it is true that the bananas were in my hand, but I am ready to put my hand in the Bible, the Koran, the Torah, the constitution, the statute of the re-established DP and wherever you want: I had the bananas in my hand, but the cash registers have gone elsewhere! Then I have an allergy to "hot-dog dust"!
- Where did you hear this "locum powder"?
- They told me that it is thrown on bananas so that they don't spoil during transport.
- Can you be more specific?
- Better ask the harbor border dogs about that. They stand out and get paid to sniff, I'm just a banana eater.
- Now you will tell us who we should ask?
- If you allow me, dear, who else has the honor to answer today in front of you but me?
- There are loading - unloading workers and the driver.
- That is, I the monkey Kiko, the worker and the driver. So two panty ripped and one pantyless like my job?!!! What about the port security chief? Shift manager? Owners of the ordering company? Have you received the written evidence?
- What do you mean monkey?
- In the first interview, I told you that one of the reasons for beating the Greek tourist was that the Greeks say they came to these lands before us monkeys. But referring to the ancient Greek Socrates, who learned by asking questions; so the Socratic method, I would ask a few questions after receiving the record of the container's arrival.
1. Is there external damage to the container, to the plumb bob?
2. The containers are monitored 24/7 with cameras. Check the cameras, who approached the container and who intervened?
3. Did the cameras work? If not, why?
4. How many days is the container at the port? To examine the phone calls of the owner and administrator of the banana firm.
5. What was the time from the exit of the containers (from the place where the containers are surrounded by guards and cameras) to the scanner?
6. Who and by what means was the container transported to the scanner?
7. What is the total number of boxes and how many boxes are missing?
8. Are all fingerprints taken on the accessible surface of the container?
9. Have similarities with other cases in the port of Durrës been taken into consideration?
10…
- More monkey, will you give up trying to divert the investigations? Are you going to put this nonsense aside?! You?! You're going to teach me how investigations are done? Do you know who you are facing?
- The prosecutor!
- No, you don't have a prosecutor in front of you anywhere, but the prosecutor who has passed the vetting! /CNA.al