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"They must fight for the love of children"/ Valentina appeals to parents of children with autism spectrum disorders

The mother of two boys with the autism spectrum, Valentina...

Children's failure and parents' behavior

2023-08-18 17:21:00, Sociale Lira Gjika

When the child starts school, all parents want their child to be excellent in studies, to be excellent in behavior, to be excellent in everything. It doesn't occur to Anjar, even to the teachers, that the child has just started school.

School is that period of a person's life when he is learning how to think, how to speak, how to recognize his emotions and how to manage them. In order to realize all these processes, a lot of work is needed, both on the part of the child, as well as on the part of the teachers and parents.

The child tries and wants to be very good, very knowledgeable but everything seems difficult. The adults around him, parents and teachers, tell him all the time the things he does wrong. The child knows this very well, he expects adults to tell him what he has done well, but this rarely happens.

There are parents who punish their children for results not according to their predictions. There are parents who insult their children because they are not good. It doesn't occur to you that they are unwittingly developing shame and self-loathing and slowly disbelieving that he can be good.

This behavior of adults destroys the formation of self-confidence and the courage to say in one's own words what one learns. This behavior of adults occurs because of their internalized and unconscious fear of failure and being inept.

Unfortunately, adults do not realize that "failure" in childhood is very healthy if adults know how to assist the child. They should show the child that at this age this is exactly what is taught, how not to fail in life. Difficulties in learning or the feeling that he does not know how to do well or laziness indicate that his mind is working exactly when it should, to be able and good.

The human brain and mind, unlike all other organs, are the only human organs that require difficulty to function. They start to activate after each new information and the right time is required for the result to appear.

Parents, show the child with examples so that it is easier for him to understand what is happening to him. It can be an example that "A person does not finish the plate of food all at once but finishes it spoon by spoon", the same phenomenon happens with learning. The child, his brain and his mind require the right time.

Learning is a process that develops step by step and day by day, and for this process to be fruitful, the parent-teacher factor is very important. If they avoid their anxiety that the child will not succeed, everything will develop for the best, which even the parents or teachers will not believe.